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| i just recently decided that i love mouse-like creatures. they are so endearing on screen and so fun and cute in real life!! funny thing is that my mom is deathly, psychotically afraid of all types of rodents. last time i went to petco, i bought a fake mouse and shook it in her face. her torturous screams were well worth the .99 that i paid. she's so weird... she'll run and yell even if she knows its fake just cuz its small and furry...
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THE GREATEST RETURN EVER!!!
thats right. it is the return of classic hand drawn DISNEY animation!!! with one new age style element... a BLACK main character, and a PRINCESS at that! finally... yay!!!
"we did it!"
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i get so unreasonably angry and flustered when i'm watching a rated-R movie and i see children in the theater. ok people.... parents... THERE ARE RATINGS FOR A REASON!!!
who, i ask, who brings their 8 year old son into a bloody, highly sexualized graphic novel movie? only an idiot who disregards the hardworking people at the motion picture association of america. (well, i'm only half angry at that mom because she took her family out 10 minutes into the movie)
watchmen was not worth the 9 matinee bucks that i paid (or, he paid). especially since i was sitting there for 2.5 hours, concerned and stressed out about what the 11 year old girl sitting next to me was thinking. even i had to shut my eyes at the gory ax to brain scenes and the unnecessarily raunchy "love" scenes. the main character was a massive blue colored man walking around with his pen15 showing shamelessly for goodness sakes!!! i'd rather watch a movie like that with my parents and halmuny (awwkward~) than let the youth of america feast their eyes on something they don't know or understand. i couldn't concentrate during the movie, imagining the damage these scenes could be doing in their pre-pubescent lives! i had visions of pre-teens running wild with sex, booze, drugs, rock n roll...
UGH!!!
Do NOT bring babies (ever) or children into movies. especially R-rated ones. it's just common sense!!!
you and your negligence... it ruins movies. and LIVES.
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| why am i so unfeminine?
my most recent read, "bad childhood, good life" has unveiled much to me.
growing up, i always felt like things were unfair. i was always yelling about how my brother had less restrictions and could get away with doing so many stupid things that i wasn't allowed to do because i was a girl. things my mom has begged of me a million times:
"why do you laugh so loud! are you a man?!"
"don't talk with your mouth full."
"don't sit like a man"
"don't shovel food in your mouth like a man"
"why you always wear jean shorts under your Sunday dress!"... "you man?"
"you can't go out, it's night time."
"no. you can't sleep over her house. girls are to sleep only in their homes"
of course, i always did what i was told not to do. my hope was that if i could prove to have masculine characteristics, maybe i could be given the same liberties and respect. WRONG. i wanted to prove that women could do everything men could. then, what would be the difference in freedoms and treatment? none.
ironically, my choices have left me as this... androgynous kind of.. thing. i can neither be fully feminine nor fully masculine, but an oddball mixture of both. if girls like me, it is because of my masculine antics and lack of shame for them, which they derive amusement from, and they need not be intimidated because i am not trying to "get with them"... pretty much i am their gay guy bff. guys don't like me like they normally like girls (as attractive potential gfs). instead, they feel comfort seeing me as some asexual ajumma. i am pretty much.. A GAY MAN!! trapped in a (slightly masculine) girl's body!
recently, i have changed my life angle. i have given up on the masculine traits hoping for masculine glories tactic. i no longer want to be a female firefighter or a policewoman with a lot of power on the streets. i don't want to expose my manly pride at football tournaments! i want to trade in my calves and biceps and roaring laugh for weak bird bones and super feeble personality and shy giggle. lately, i have this unnecessary dress collection that just seems to get larger all the time because of my desire to be attractive. i want to have a high whiny voice and be fancied by the opposite sex (and not have them be ashamed of it)! and i want a loving husband so i can be a mother to my babies. so give me my ovaries back! i accept them with open arms.
obviously not juls or jes.... -_-
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| today, i thought i was going to die.
today, i learned many things...
first, i learned that any sick person is the biggest debby downer, boo nee gi killer everrrrrr.
+ i learned that when you're hurting real bad, you don't care who sees you doing what. i was hurtin' real, real bad. and julie was there to bear the burden in that dirty, seafood public restroom. as pathetic as i was, i was kind of happy that i wasn't there alone. thanks for feeling awkward while i stuck my head on your butt for support.
+ i learned what it must feel like for women to pain through childbirth. (about 30 minutes worth) if guys cannot fathom the evil this phenomena brings upon our bodies, then just imagine having really bad diarrhea and then getting shot in the lower abdomen region.
+ i learned not to make fun of people who ever tell pain stories to me. i once laughed at jessica and through the cruel hands of fate, i ended up with the same trauma. today. in san pedro harbor. in the midst of fun with friends. bad combo of female pain + male over eating pain.
+ another lesson learned. never eat more than 2 pounds of shrimp within two days time (esp. the week of your . ) boiling crab and harbor seafood back to back = not a good idea. i don't think i will ever eat shrimp again. and neither will julie, jess, or dave. seeing someone upchuck what you just ate in the bushes and having it splatter on your feet probably turns you off for good.
+ another thing, i learned why you have to pull the toilet seat up before you barf. cuz it just gets all over the place... shudder.
+ i learned it sucks to be a girl. (i mean it for reals this time.)
+ i also learned that korean dramas are a bunch of bullcrap. it is not even remotely romantic when a guy carries a sick girl anywere in real life. when i felt like i couldn't stand on my feet anymore, i figured i could at least a piggy back to the car. wrong. -_- it looked very unattractive. i don't weigh 90 pounds and it was almost entirely useless. halfway through i couldn't hold onto dear life anymore and chose to crawl back than suffer through that indecency. poor me. poor you!
+ i also learned that even if i hate on my friends in front of their faces, when times are bad, they'll be there to keep asking me over and over "are you're okay??" when i'm obviously not cuz i'm stuck groaning and rubbing my belly on the toilet and getting white in the face while going in and out of consiousness. i promise i won't make fun of you guys for a whole week!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3
i hate you for life.
stuck to a heating pad,
joys
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